How do social idiots meet people in a city as big as Berlin? They put on a hat, and...

Hm, no, not there yet. This is what I plan to do today, or sometime thereabouts: Put an ad in Berlin's oldest, hippest* "Stadtmagazin" - a term I don't know how to translate just now - as follows...

What single parent or parent-to-be needs
my inexpert butlering services? I offer
civilised behaviour, superficial upkeep
of home and hearth - unfortunately no
serious cooking!; also knowledge of
English and some German culture, esp.
books & film, all for free for about 1
hour a week.

I promise to appear properly attired, i.e. hatted, jacketed, and to address you with politeness at all times - at least while hatted. I also promise to deal with any submissions earnestly - you should be 30ish or older, preferably female and capable of e-mailing (my address) at least twice. It's worth a try, although I'm sure I'll find politeness alone is not the pleasure magnet it's made out to be by Jackman in Kate & Leopold. I will document any reactions wherever I get to reach any doors, here in this journal.

(* their motto seems to be "we don't care if you've outgrown us")